THE STIFFYS PHONE ADVICE HOTLINE

WELCOME TO THE FIRST INSTALLMENT OF THE STIFFYS’ PHONE ADVICE HOTLINE THIS WEEK WE ARE FEATURING

JOSEPH FROM WARRNAMBOOL

WEDNESDAY 1 OCTOBER TWO THOUSAND FOURTEEN

HI JOSEPH IT’S THE STIFFYS HERE THANKS FOR YOUR GREAT QUESTION I’VE NEVER SEEN MACARONI WITHOUT CHEESE YOU SEE OTHER PASTAS WITHOUT CHEESE ALL THE TIME BUT NOT MACARONI APART FROM ONE TIME WE RAN OUT CHEESE AND EVERYTHING ELSE AND PUT CHAMPAGNE ON OUR MACARONI AND TASTED NOT THAT GREAT BUT WE HAD THE BEST TIME SO YEAH PUT CHEESE OR CHAMPAGNE ON IT AND ALWAYS CHASE YOUR DREAMS

ANONYMOUS

WEDNESDAY 1 OCTOBER TWO THOUSAND FOURTEEN

HI ANONYMOUS IT’S YOUR BOYS THE STIFFYS HERE TO BE HONEST WE WE WERE BASICALLY BORN LIKE THIS BUT ALSO IT’S A DAILY BATTLE TO STAY AHEAD OF THE PACK AND BE THE MOST ART BAND IN THE BUSINESS THAT’S WHY WE NEED TO RELAX WITH A COUPLE OF DRINKS AND HAVE A GREAT TIME ALL THE TIME BECAUSE IT HELPS WITH THE STRESS OF BEING SEXUAL ICONS AND ALSO A SEX BAND ALSO WE REALLY ENJOY LISTENING TO YOU LAUGH IT REMINDS US OF A HAPPIER TIME LIKE YESTERDAY WHEN ALL THESE GIRLS WERE TOTALLY TALKING TO US

JOSEPH FROM WARRNAMBOOL

SECOND CALL

WEDNESDAY 1 OCTOBER TWO THOUSAND FOURTEEN

WE’RE ASSUMING YOU STILL HAVE THE MACARONI SITTING THERE FROM FOUR DAYS AGO SO WE’RE GOING TO RIGHT AHEAD AND GRAB THAT MACARONI AND SOME GLUE AND PAPER NOW WHAT YOU’RE GOING TO WANT TO DO IS INDIVIDUALLY GLUE EACH PIECE OF MACARONI ON TO THE PAPER AND MAKE ART YOU CAN PUT THINGS LIKE GLITTER AND PAINT AND CHEESE ON YOUR NEW PIECE OF ART TO REALLY SNAZZ IT UP STAY ART EVERYBODY

DJ MIKE BIDSTRUP

WEDNESDAY 1 OCTOBER TWO THOUSAND FOURTEEN

HI DJ MIKE BIDSTRUP IT’S IMPORTANT TO ALWAYS BELIEVE IN YOURSELF NO MATTER HOW SAD YOU GET YOU SHOULD ALWAYS KNOW THAT YOUR BOY THE STIFFYS ARE HERE TO HELP YOU OUT BOTH OF US GET SAD SOMETIMES LIKE IF RED ROOSTER HAVE RUN OUT OF NUGGETS FOR EXAMPLE BUT WE ALWAYS MAKE SURE THAT WE REMEMBER TO STAY POSITIVE BECAUSE RED ROOSTER WILL RESTOCK THOSE NUGGETS AND WE WILL HAVE NUGGETS AGAIN SOON SO IN THE MEANTIME WE’LL JUST DRINK ALL THE DRINKS WE CAN FIND AND HAVE LITERALLY THE BEST TIME ANYWAY FROM ONE DJ TO ANOTHER JUST TRY AND BE POSITIVE AND EVERYTHING WILL BE OK WHERE AM I

HANGUP

WEDNESDAY 1 OCTOBER TWO THOUSAND FOURTEEN

WHY DID YOU HANG UP ON US

HANGUP

WEDNESDAY 1 OCTOBER TWO THOUSAND FOURTEEN

WHY DID YOU HANG UP ON US ARE YOU THE SAME PERSON

PLEASE DIAL IN ON 03 9416 3642 TO GET SOME ADVICE FROM A COUPLE OF COOLBOYS

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