THE STIFFYS’ PHONE ADVICE HOTLINE – WEEK FOUR

LACHLAN
WEDNESDAY FIVE FIFTEEN PM
HI LACHLAN LUCKILY YOU’VE COME TO THE BEST IN THE BUSINESS WHEN IT COMES TO MARIO CART WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO IS PRESS THE ACCELERATE BUTTON JUST BEFORE THE LIGHT TURNS GREEN THAT WAY YOU GET A BOOST TO START YOU OFF THEN WHEN YOU’RE GOING AROUND CORNERS YOU SHOULD USE THE JUMP BUTTON AND DO THE SLIDE MOVE AS FOR WHICH CHARACTER TO CHOOSE I WOULD DEFINITELY SAY YOSHI OR TOAD BECAUSE THEY’RE SMALL GUYS AND THEY ACCELERATE REALLY QUICKLY I HOPE THAT HELPS LACHLAN PS THIS IS ADAM FROM THE STIFFYS HERE

ANONYMOUS
WEDNESDAY SIX OH SIX PM
HI ANONYMOUS IT’S YOUR BOY JASON FROM THE STIFFYS HERE I JUST TRIED TO PLAY ALL THE PARTS TO BOSTON’S MORE THAN A FEELING AT ONCE ON MY BASS GUITAR INCLUDING THE DRUM SOLO AND I CUT UP MY HAND AND ADAM STARTED SQUEALING AND THEN I STARTED SQUEALING AND THEN WE STARTED SLAPPING EACH OTHER TO TRY TO CALM DOWN BUT I GOT CONFUSED AND HEAD BUTTED ADAM AND HE’S STILL ON THE FLOOR AND NOW I’M AT THE PUBLIC LIBRARY TYPING THIS BLOG BECAUSE HONESTLY OUR HOUSE IS A MESS RIGHT NOW THIS LIBARARY WOMAN KEEPS TELLING ME TO USE MY INSIDE VOICE BUT I FIND IT HELPS ME THINK IF I YELL WHAT I’M TYPING ANYWAY YES WE CAN DEFINITELY PLAY THAT SONG

ANONYMOUS
WEDNESDAY SIX SIXTEEN
HI ANONYMOUS IF WE WERE AN ICE CREAM TOPPING WE WOULD DEFINITELY BE ICE MAGIC BECAUSE NOT ONLY IS IT CHOCOLATE TOPPING IT ALSO TURNS HARD WHEN YOU PUT IT ON ICE CREAM THAT’S THE THING ABOUT THE ORLANDO MAGIC SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE SHAQ ON YOUR TEAM AND HE’LL DO ALL THE SLAM DUNKS AND NO ONE CAN GET IN HIS WAY JUST GIVE THE BALL TO SHAQ GUYS SO HE CAN DUNK IT HE’LL PROBABLY DO A RAP ON HIS WAY UP TO THE RING JUST GET THE BALL TO SHAQ DON’T BOTHER DOING ANYTHING ELSE JUST GET IT TO SHAQ

ANONYMOUS
WEDNESDAY SIX SEVENTEEN PM
HI ANONYMOUS OUR FAVOURITE FASCIST DICTATOR WOULD BE KEVIN RUDD BECAUSE HE NEVER GAVE UP ON HIS PERSONAL DREAMS TO RUN THE COUNTRY EVEN WHEN EVERYONE ON HIS TEAM WAS LIKE SERIOUSLY KEVIN WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING IN THERE YOU NEED TO LET US INTO THE FOLD HERE HE WAS LIKE NO WAY MAN I’M NOT GIVING UP THIS GOVERNMENT IT’S MY SHOW ALL MINE AND THEN THEY WERE ALL LIKE OK WELL YOU’RE SACKED KEVIN AND HE WAS LIKE OK NO WORRIES GUYS HAHAHAHA YEAH RIGHT I’LL JUST TELL ALL THE JOURNALISTS THAT I’M A FUNKYBOY AND THAT JULIA IS DUMB AND THEN HE DID IT AND THEN EVERYBODY ON HIS TEAM WAS LIKE FINE KEVIN JUST RUN THE COUNTRY AGAIN BECAUSE WE DON’T HAVE ANY BETTER IDEAS SO THEN HE WAS ALL LIKE OH OK COOL AND THEN THE REST OF THE COUNTRY WAS LIKE HANG ON KEVIN WE THOUGHT YOU WERE A FUNKYBOY AND YOU WERE GOING TO SAVE US FROM THE POLLUTION AND LET EVERYBODY MARRY WHO THEY WANTED AND HE WAS LIKE OH YEAH RIGHT AND THEN HE DID

ANONYMOUS
WEDNESDAY SIX EIGHTEEN PM
HI ANONYMOUS THANKS SO MUCH FOR YOUR GREAT QUESTION ABOUT MUMS BEING INSIDE GIRLFRIEND’S BODIES WE WOULD NEED A BIT MORE INFORMATION ON THIS ONE WHAT ARE WE TALKING JUST KISSING OR SOME OUTSIDE BRA STUFF AND ARE WE ALLOWED TO JUST GET NEW GIRLFRIENDS AND DO WE HAVE GOOD RELATIONSHIPS WITH OUR MOTHERS AND WOULD OUR DADS ALWAYS BE TRYING TO TOUCH OUR GIRLFRIEND’S BRAS AND ARE OUR DADS GOOD AT FIGHTING AND DO GIRLS LIKE WEARING BRAS I IMAGINE BRAS WOULD MAKE IT EASIER TO RUN BUT THEN ALL THE FEMINIST GIRLS IN THE SIXTIES WERE ALWAYS BURNING THEIR BRAS SO THEY MUSTN’T HAVE LIKED BRAS VERY MUCH BUT IF THEY DIDN’T LIKE THEM WHY DID THEY BOTHER BUYING THEM IT MUST HAVE GOTTEN REALLY EXPENSIVE I HOPE THEY GOT A FEW WEARS OUT OF THEM FIRST IT’S ALL ABOUT COST PER WEAR ANONYMOUS THAT’S WHY WE LIKE TO GET A LOT OF USE OUT OF OUR GARMENTS

ANONYMOUS
WEDNESDAY EIGHT FIFTY TWO
THAT’S TOUGH WE WERE JUST ABOUT TO SAY TO MAKE A TINY PAIR OF JEANS FOR THE DUCK BUT YOU’VE ALREADY TRIED THAT I SUPPOSE ALL YOU CAN REALLY DO IS MOVE SOMEWHERE WHERE SOILING YOUR PANTS ALL THE TIME IS OK LIKE MAYBE THE REALLY TOURISTY AREAS OF BALI OR MAYBE THE EIGHTY SIX TRAM IN MELBOURNE

KICK ANOTHER FLIP TOUR POSTER - WEB

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