THE STIFFYS’ PHONE ADVICE HOTLINE – WEEK FOUR

LACHLAN
WEDNESDAY FIVE FIFTEEN PM
HI LACHLAN LUCKILY YOU’VE COME TO THE BEST IN THE BUSINESS WHEN IT COMES TO MARIO CART WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO IS PRESS THE ACCELERATE BUTTON JUST BEFORE THE LIGHT TURNS GREEN THAT WAY YOU GET A BOOST TO START YOU OFF THEN WHEN YOU’RE GOING AROUND CORNERS YOU SHOULD USE THE JUMP BUTTON AND DO THE SLIDE MOVE AS FOR WHICH CHARACTER TO CHOOSE I WOULD DEFINITELY SAY YOSHI OR TOAD BECAUSE THEY’RE SMALL GUYS AND THEY ACCELERATE REALLY QUICKLY I HOPE THAT HELPS LACHLAN PS THIS IS ADAM FROM THE STIFFYS HERE

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THE STIFFYS PHONE ADVICE HOTLINE – WEEK THREE

ANONYMOUS

TUESDAY ONE THIRTY TWO PM

HI ANONYMOUS WE COMMEND YOU ON YOUR BRIEF MESSAGE IT’S SO MINIMAL AND SO ART IT’S PROBABLY THE MOST ART PHONE ADVICE HOTLNE QUESTION WE’VE EVER RECEIVED WE COMMEND YOU ON YOUR BREVITY ANONYMOUS

ALSO CAN EVERYBODY PLEASE REMEMBER TO SAY WHERE THEY ARE CALLING FROM PLEASE WE ARE TRYING TO FOSTER A SENSE OF COMMUNITY 

THE STIFFYS PHONE ADVICE HOTLINE – WEEK TWO

WELCOME TO THE SECOND INSTALLMENT OF THE STIFFYS’ PHONE ADVICE HOTLINE GREAT QUESTIONS EVERYBODY PS CAN EVERYBODY PLEASE START SAYING WHO THEY ARE AND WHERE THEY’RE FROM

DUGALD

FRIDAY THREE OCTOBER TWO THOUSAND AND FOURTEEN

SIX FORTY FIVE PM

HI DUGALD FIRSTLY GREAT JOB ON BUYING A BMX BIKE WE’LL GIVE YOU A COOLBOY TIP STRAIGHT UP IF YOU CLIP BASKETBALL CARDS TO THE SPOKES WITH A CLOTHES PEG IT SOUNDS LIKE A MOTORCYCLE AND ALL THE GIRLS WILL BE LIKE WHAAAAT I THINK THE STIFFYS ARE COMING AND YOU’LL BE ALL LIKE YEAH THEY’RE ON THEIR WAY THEY’RE MY FRIENDS AND THEN YOU’LL ALL BE BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND ANYWAY WE THINK YOU SHOULD GO FOR SOMETHING CLASSY LIKE ASTRONAUT WHITE WITH A STRIP OF BLUE DOWN THE SIDE MAYBE YOU COULD GET SOME ZIPOFF PANTS INSTALLED ON YOUR BIKE AND WEAR SUNGLASSES AND GROW YOUR HAIR LONG