WELCOME TO THE SECOND INSTALLMENT OF THE STIFFYS’ PHONE ADVICE HOTLINE GREAT QUESTIONS EVERYBODY PS CAN EVERYBODY PLEASE START SAYING WHO THEY ARE AND WHERE THEY’RE FROM
DUGALD
FRIDAY THREE OCTOBER TWO THOUSAND AND FOURTEEN
SIX FORTY FIVE PM
HI DUGALD FIRSTLY GREAT JOB ON BUYING A BMX BIKE WE’LL GIVE YOU A COOLBOY TIP STRAIGHT UP IF YOU CLIP BASKETBALL CARDS TO THE SPOKES WITH A CLOTHES PEG IT SOUNDS LIKE A MOTORCYCLE AND ALL THE GIRLS WILL BE LIKE WHAAAAT I THINK THE STIFFYS ARE COMING AND YOU’LL BE ALL LIKE YEAH THEY’RE ON THEIR WAY THEY’RE MY FRIENDS AND THEN YOU’LL ALL BE BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND ANYWAY WE THINK YOU SHOULD GO FOR SOMETHING CLASSY LIKE ASTRONAUT WHITE WITH A STRIP OF BLUE DOWN THE SIDE MAYBE YOU COULD GET SOME ZIPOFF PANTS INSTALLED ON YOUR BIKE AND WEAR SUNGLASSES AND GROW YOUR HAIR LONG
ANONYMOUS
FRIDAY THREE OCTOBER TWO THOUSAND AND FOURTEEN
SIX FORTY SIX PM
WHY DID YOU HANG UP ON US
ANONYMOUS
FRIDAY THREE OCTOBER TWO THOUSAND AND FOURTEEN
SEVEN FORTY FIVE PM
WHY DID YOU HANG UP ON US WHO IS THIS PLEASE
ANONYMOUS
FRIDAY THREE OCTOBER TWO THOUSAND AND FOURTEEN
SEVEN FORTY EIGHT PM
HI ANONYMOUS ADAM DOES A LOT OF EYE EXERCISES EVERY DAY AND ALSO KARATE WE’VE BOTH GOT BLACK BELTS IN KARATE SO ANYWAY YEAH MY BROWN EYES ARE PRETTY NICE I SUPPOSE THANKS
QUESTION FROM ANONYMOUS’ FRIEND
FRIDAY THREE OCTOBER TWO THOUSAND AND FOURTEEN
NINE OH ONE PM
TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST WITH YOU ANONYMOUS WE DID A LOT OF RESEARCH ON THIS ONE AND SHORT OF GETTING ON THE BUS IN CASTLE HILL WE’RE NOT SURE IF THERE’S ANYTHING ELSE WE CAN DO TO HELP WITH YOUR SITUATION HOPEFULLY YOU HAVEN’T BEEN WAITING FOR OUR ANSWER SINCE LAST FRIDAY AND HOPEFULLY YOU DON’T NEED TO GET TO A JOB INTERVIEW OR SOMETHING BECAUSE YOU’RE ALREADY SIX DAYS LATE FOR IT ALTHOUGH WITH YOUR SUNNY DEMEANOUR AND GENERAL POSITIVE ATTITUDE TOWARDS LIFE WE THINK YOU WOULD STILL GET THE JOB JUST HAVE A COUPLE OF DRINKS AND SAY ALL THIS STUFF ABOUT COURAGE IT WORKS FOR US
ANONYMOUS
SATURDAY THREE OCTOBER TWO THOUSAND AND FOURTEEN
ELEVEN FORTY NINE PM
DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW TO USE THE PHONE WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON HERE IS THAT YOU JASON
ANONYMOUS
SATURDAY THREE OCTOBER TWO THOUSAND AND FOURTEEN
SEVEN TWENTY SEVEN PM
GREAT JOB ON YOUR LAUGHS GREAT JOKES EVERYBODY HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WHERE AM I WHERE DID THIS COMPUTER COME FROM
ANONYMOUS
SATURDAY THREE OCTOBER TWO THOUSAND AND FOURTEEN
EIGHT TEN PM
HI ANONYMOUS WE UNDERSTAND THAT IT’S A VERY IMPORTANT NIGHT IN EVERY PERSON’S LIFE WHERE YOU GET TO HAVE A GREAT NIGHT WITH ALL OF YOUR CLOSE FRIENDS AND CELEBRATE EVERYBODY’S ACHIEVEMENTS AND HAVE THE BEST TIME AND DO SPEECHES BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT WE DO AT STIFFYS SHOWS WE DO SPEECHES AND WE’RE SURE YOUR FRIEND WILL ALSO UNDERSTAND MAYBE JUST GET THEM TO MOVE THEIR BIRTHDAY PARTY TO OUR SHOW I’M PRETTY SURE BIRTHDAY’S HAPPEN EVERY YEAR GREAT JOB ANONYMOUS