OFFICIAL THE STIFFYS SOCKS

THAT’S RIGHT EVERYBODY WE’VE LISTENED TO YOUR FEEDBACK AND HAVE FINALLY RELEASED AN OFFICIAL RANGE OF SOCKIES

THESE WHITE SOCKIES FEATURE THE STIFFYS LOGO AROUND THE TOP AND ALSO A SECRET MESSAGE OF ENCOURAGEMENT JUST FOR YOU ON THE TOE

QUITE HONESTLY WE SPENT A LOT OF MONEY ON THESE SOCKIES WE REALLY WENT ALL IN ON THESE SOCKIES SO PLEASE CONSIDER PURCHASING A PAIR

A LOT OF PEOPLE THOUGHT IT COULDN’T BE DONE BUT LOOK AT US NOW EVERYBODY SHOUT OUT TO ALL THE NAYSAYERS

PLEASE RT

https://thestiffys.bandcamp.com/merch/the-stiffys-official-sockies

GREAT JOB MELBOURNE

OUR NEW RECORD

NINE BEHIND THE SCENES FACTS FROM THE STIFFYS’ SHOW

1. WE WERE NOT ACTUALLY ENDORSED BY ANY OF THOSE COMPANIES

WE WERE JUST USING OUR TALKSHOW PLATFORM TO GIVE THOSE BRANDS A LEG UP IT’S PART OF OUR AGGRESSIVE MARKETING APPROACH AND ‘FORGIVENESS IS EASIER THAN PERMISSION’ ETHOS WE DEFINITELY DIDN’T RUN ANY OF THIS BY PONCHO.

2. THAT WAS NOT A REAL BERTOCCHI HAM IN THE FIRST EPISODE

THAT WAS ACTUALLY OUR FRIEND MATT FAZIO DRESSED UP IN A HAM COSTUME WE MADE THAT OURSELVES WELL ACTUALLY OUR PRODUCER MATT MADE THAT AND BLAKE FROM THE PEEP TEMPEL WASN’T THAT COMFORTABLE WITH IT

3. WE FILMED A FEW EPISODES ON THE SAME DAY

AND DRINKING A LOT OF PASSION POP ON SET SO THAT’S WHY WE’RE GETTING QUITE SLURRY TOWARDS THE END OF THE SEASON TO BE HONEST WE’RE A BIT SLURRY FROM EPISODE TWO YOU CAN SEE IT IN OUR INTERVIEW WITH MP FIONA PATTEN SHE WAS PRETTY FINE WITH IT.

4. EPISODE FOUR CAPTURES THE FIRST TIME ADAM HAD EVER DRUNK VODKA BEFORE
IT WAS A BIT OF SHOCK TO HIS SYSTEM HE HAS NOT DRUNK IT AGAIN SINCE THEN

5. DESPITE OUR CORDIAL RELATIONSHIP ON SCREEN THERE WAS ACTUALLY A BIT OF TENSION BETWEEN US AND THE WRITING STAFF

I THINK THEY WERE A BIT UNPROFESSIONAL TO BE HONEST THEY DIDN’T SEEM TO HAVE A LOT OF EXPERIENCE WORKING WITH ROCK AND ROLL MUSICIANS AND THE DRINKS WE NEED AS PART OF OUR PROCESS

6. WE’D ACTUALLY HAD A LOT OF DRINKS BEFORE FILMING THE HOUSE BAND SCENES
ALTHOUGH YOU WOULDN’T KNOW IT FROM OUR PITCH PERFECT PERFORMANCE WE’D BEEN HANGING OUT AT THE BIRMINGHAM HOTEL WAITING FOR THE CROWD TO SHOW UP BUT DIDN’T REALISE THEY ALL AROUND US AND WAITING FOR US TO LEAVE

7. OUR WRITING TEAM IS AN ALL-STAR CAST

IT INCLUDES OUR GUITARIST DEV

DAN HAWKINS FROM TWIN BEASTS

DALE BARTLETT FROM MIGHTIEST OF GUNS

KATE DEHNERT THE FAMOUS COMEDIAN

AND OUR HEAD WRITER JIM YOUNG WHO IS A GREAT COMEDY GUY

JAMES FITZPATRICK WASN’T ON THE WRITING TEAM BUT YOU CAN SEE HIM IN ALL OF THE BAND SHOTS MIXING ALL THE SOUND

8. PONCHO HAD TO PAY A HUGE DRY CLEANING BILL AFTER WE WERE DONE

MAINLY BECAUSE OF THE DRINKS ADAM’S SCIENCE EXPERIMENT ADAM’S COOKING SEGMENT AND ADAM VOMITING EVERYWHERE

9. GAZ OUR MAN ON THE GROUND IS A TRUE PROFESSIONAL

WHILE MANY PEOPLE KNOW GAZ FROM HIS CULT GOON BASED ROCK AND ROLL BAND KEGGIN HE’S ACTUALLY THE BEST MAN ON THE GROUND IN THE BUSINESS AND A VERY TOUGH NEGOTIATOR.

8. PONCHO APPROACHED US ABOUT THIS TALKSHOW OFF THE BACK OF OUR POKEMON GO VIDEO GOING VIRAL
WE MAY HAVE LED THEM TO BELIEVE THAT ALL OF OUR VIDEOS ARE THAT SUCCESSFUL

9. COLD CALLING BIG NAME GUESTS THROUGH TWITTER IS NOT VERY EFFECTIVE
BUT LUCKILY PONCHO WERE ABLE TO LAND SOME GREAT GUESTS INDEPENDENT OF OUR EFFORTS

​​​
​​​​​​​​​ 

ART ROCK TWO TOUR

HI EVERYBODY IT’S YOUR BOYS THE STIFFYS HERE GUESS WHAT YOU’RE MAD AND I’M NOT HAHAHAHA GREAT JOKES EVERYBODY BUT SERIOUSLY GET READY FOR OUR NEW TOUR AND NEW RECORD AND NEW SONG AND NEW EVERYTHING

YOU CAN BUY TICKETS HERE

WE’VE DECIDED TO GO FULL ART ROCK – NO MORE SINGING ABOUT STIFFIES, NO MORE SINGING ABOUT COOLBOY STUFF LIKE SKATEBOARDING, JUST BOUNDARY PUSHING ART. FOR US THAT OBVIOUSLY MEANS EXPLORING THE THIRD DIMENSION

WE CAN’T WAIT FOR EVERYONE TO HEAR OUR NEW SONGS, IT’S THE FIRST TIME WE’VE RECORDED AS A THREE PIECE AND ALSO THE FIRST TIME WE WEREN’T ALLOWED TO BRING DRINKS INTO THE STUDIO AND YOU CAN REALLY HEAR THE DIFFERENCE

IT’S BEEN A REAL TIME OF REFLECTION FOR US I BROKE MY ARM IN A SKATEBOARDING ACCIDENT

WE TRIED TO KEEP PLAYING DJ SHOWS BUT THEN I POURED WHITE WINE INTO MY LAPTOP

SO YEAH IT’S BEEN A GOOD OPPORTUNITY FOR REFLECTION ABOUT WHAT WE’RE DOING AND ALSO THE THIRD DIMENSION

WE ARE BACK ON THE ROAD EVERYBODY

 

HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM YOUR BOYS

WE’RE PLAYING A THREE MORE SHOWS BEFORE CHRISTMAS THEN WE’RE GOING TO ENJOY SOME DRINKS AND MAKE SOME VIDEOS AND ANNOUNCE SOME MORE SHOWS AND WRITE MORE HITS

THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO WAS PART OF THE STIFFYS THIS YEAR ESPECIALLY YOU

GREAT JOB EVERYBODY NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS

• FRIDAY 18 – SYDNEY – THE BANK HOTEL w/BAD BITCH CHOIR AND FOX COMPANY
• SATURDAY 19 – SYDNEY – GINGERFEST
• SATURDAY 19 – WOLLONGONG – SUPPORTING BORN LION

ART ROCK ONE RECORD AND TOUR

GUESS WHAT EVERYBODY OUR NEW RECORD COMES OUT TODAY AND WE’RE GOING TO CELEBRATE BY DOING A ROCK AND ROLL TOUR AND WE’RE BRINGING A GUITARIST HE’S THE COOLEST GUY WE KNOW

BUY TICKETS HERE THEY ARE SELLING FAST

FRIDAY 11 SEP: RICS BIG BACKYARD FESTIVAL – BRISBANE (QLD)

SATURDAY 12 SEP: THE BEARDED LADY – BRISBANE (QLD)

FRIDAY 18 SEP 18: THE LOFT – WARNAMBOOL

SATURDAY 19 SEP: THE EXETER BEERGARDEN – ADELAIDE (SA)

THURSDAY 24 SEP: PHOENIX BAR – CANBERRA (ACT)

FRIDAY 25 SEP: BRIGHTON UP BAR – SYDNEY (NSW)

SATURDAY 26 SEP: SURRY HILLS FESTIVAL – SYDNEY

SATURDAY 26 SEP: LASS O’GOWRIE – NEWCASTLE (NSW)

THURSDAY 1 OCT: THE TOTE – MELBOURNE (VIC)

SATURDAY 17 OCT: BARWON CLUB – THE MANE EVENT FESTIVAL – GEELONG (VIC)

HHHAPPY ARE PRESENTING THE TOUR WE MADE A VIDEO TO SAY THANKS

TOUR DIARY – NEWCASTLE

THESE TOUR DIARIES WERE ORGINALLY PUBLISHED BY THE MUSIC DOT COM

WEDNESDAY 15 APRIL – NEWCASTLE UNIVERSITY

WE WERE LATE TO THE AIRPORT AGAIN AND RESUMED OUR CAT AND MOUSE GAME WITH THE PRIORITY LOUNGE WHERE THEY HIDE ALL THE DRINKS

THEY WERE ALL LIKE DO YOU GUYS HAVE A MEMBERSHIP CARD

AND WE WERE ALL LIKE YES

AND THEN THEY WERE ALL LIKE NO YOU DON’T

AND THEN WE WERE ALL LIKE YES WE DO

AND THEN THEY WERE ALL LIKE: NO THEY’RE JUST TAZOS

AND THEN WERE ALL LIKE: NO THEY AREN’T

AND THEN THEY WERE ALL LIKE ALRIGHT GUYS YOU CAN COME IN BUT SERIOUSLY THIS IS THE LAST TIME

AND THEN WE WERE ALL LIKE HAHAHAHA OK SURE SEE YOU NEXT WEEK EVERYBODY

TOUR DIARY – DARWIN

THESE TOUR DIARIES WERE ORGINALLY PUBLISHED BY THE MUSIC DOT COM

FRIDAY 10 APRIL – DARWIN

TO BE HONEST IT WAS A PRETTY ROUGH MORNING AND IT DIDN’T HELP THAT THEY REFUSED TO SERVE US ANY DRINKS ON THE FLIGHT

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WE WERE SO EXCITED TO PLAY IN DARWIN FOR THE FIRST TIME SO WE SPENT A LOT OF TIME PREPARING OURSELVES MENTALLY

TOUR DIARY – WOLLONGONG

WE WROTE SOME TOUR DIARIES FOR THE MUSIC DOT COM AND THOUGHT WE’D SHARE THE DIRECTOR’S CUT WITH YOU UNFORTUNATELY WE COMPLETELY FORGOT TO DOCUMENT BALLARAT  TRARALGON GEELONG MELBOURNE LAUNCESTON OR ADELAIDE YOU KNOW WHAT WITH ALL THE DRINKS BUT WE REMEMBERED BY WOLLONGONG GREAT JOB EVERYBODY

THURSDAY 9 APRIL – WOLLONGONG

WE STARTED THE DAY BY NEARLY MISSING OUR FLIGHT WE MISS A LOT OF FLIGHTS

THE BEARDS PICKED US UP IN THEIR TOUR VAN AND WE ALL DID GREAT JOKES TOGETHER ON THE WAY TO WOLLONGONG FOR OUR SHOW AT THE UNI BAR

THE BEARDS’ STAGE TECH WORKED OUT THAT MY AMP WAS COMPLETELY BLOWN UP AND THAT HE’D NEVER SEEN DAMAGE THAT BAD AND THAT IT WAS ALMOST LIKE SOMEONE HAD POURED A WHOLE BOTTLE OF PASSION POP IN THERE SO WE GOT OUT OF THE WAY WHILE HE FIXED IT

 

WE FIND THE BEST THING TO DO IN THESE SITUATIONS IS TO STAY OUT OF THE WAY

INTERVIEW WITH THE AU REVIEW

WE JUST FOUND THIS ON THE INTERNET IT REALLY SUMS UP WHERE WE ARE AT GUYS

SELF PORTRAIT WE MADE FOR SEMPLESIZE

SEMPLESIZE ASKED US TO DRAW OURSELVES SO WE DUG INTO OUR SOULS AND CAME UP WITH THIS PIECE WE’VE BEEN SO BUSY ON TOUR I FORGOT TO UPLOAD IT AND YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY “CONTENT CONTENT CONTENT PLEASE SIR YOU HAVE TO BUY SOMETHING OR LEAVE THE STORE”

WE ALSO DID THIS INTERVIEW WITH SEMPLESIZE IN A BURGER SHOP AND WE DIDN’T KNOW THEY WERE GOING TO GIVE US FREE DRINKS SO WE HAD ALL THESE DRINKS BEFOREHAND AND WELL ANYWAY IT WAS A MISCOMMUNICATION

THANKS FOR LIKING OUR VIDEO

GEE WHIZZ GUYS THIS IS GREAT THE DWARF MADE KISSY KISSY THEIR SONG OF THE WEEK AND TONEDEAF SAID ALL THIS REALLY GREAT STUFF ABOUT OUR VIDEO AND RAGE IS GOING TO PLAY OUR VIDEO AND IT’S MY KINDA SCENE PUT IT IN THEIR TOP TWENTY FIVE SONGS WHAT A SPECIAL DAY WE’RE GOING TO CELEBRATE ON THE PLANE TO WOLLONGONG AND ALSO THE PLANE TO DARWIN AND ALSO THE PLANE BACK TO MELBOURNE THIS WEEKEND HAHAHA YOU’D BETTER STRAP US DOWN AGAIN VIRGIN HAHAHAHA THEY ALWAYS DO IT

NEW MUSIC VIDEO ABOUT KISSING GIRLS

WELCOME TO THE MOST ART THING WE’VE EVER PRODUCED IT’S ABOUT KISSING GIRLS AND ALSO ABOUT KISSING GIRLS IN SPACE

PLEASE RT PLEASE FAV PLEASE SHARE

NEW MUSIC VIDEO

THE STIFFYS’ PHONE ADVICE HOTLINE – WEEK FOUR

LACHLAN
WEDNESDAY FIVE FIFTEEN PM
HI LACHLAN LUCKILY YOU’VE COME TO THE BEST IN THE BUSINESS WHEN IT COMES TO MARIO CART WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO IS PRESS THE ACCELERATE BUTTON JUST BEFORE THE LIGHT TURNS GREEN THAT WAY YOU GET A BOOST TO START YOU OFF THEN WHEN YOU’RE GOING AROUND CORNERS YOU SHOULD USE THE JUMP BUTTON AND DO THE SLIDE MOVE AS FOR WHICH CHARACTER TO CHOOSE I WOULD DEFINITELY SAY YOSHI OR TOAD BECAUSE THEY’RE SMALL GUYS AND THEY ACCELERATE REALLY QUICKLY I HOPE THAT HELPS LACHLAN PS THIS IS ADAM FROM THE STIFFYS HERE

THE STIFFYS PHONE ADVICE HOTLINE – WEEK THREE

ANONYMOUS

TUESDAY ONE THIRTY TWO PM

HI ANONYMOUS WE COMMEND YOU ON YOUR BRIEF MESSAGE IT’S SO MINIMAL AND SO ART IT’S PROBABLY THE MOST ART PHONE ADVICE HOTLNE QUESTION WE’VE EVER RECEIVED WE COMMEND YOU ON YOUR BREVITY ANONYMOUS

ALSO CAN EVERYBODY PLEASE REMEMBER TO SAY WHERE THEY ARE CALLING FROM PLEASE WE ARE TRYING TO FOSTER A SENSE OF COMMUNITY 

THE STIFFYS PHONE ADVICE HOTLINE – WEEK TWO

WELCOME TO THE SECOND INSTALLMENT OF THE STIFFYS’ PHONE ADVICE HOTLINE GREAT QUESTIONS EVERYBODY PS CAN EVERYBODY PLEASE START SAYING WHO THEY ARE AND WHERE THEY’RE FROM

DUGALD

FRIDAY THREE OCTOBER TWO THOUSAND AND FOURTEEN

SIX FORTY FIVE PM

HI DUGALD FIRSTLY GREAT JOB ON BUYING A BMX BIKE WE’LL GIVE YOU A COOLBOY TIP STRAIGHT UP IF YOU CLIP BASKETBALL CARDS TO THE SPOKES WITH A CLOTHES PEG IT SOUNDS LIKE A MOTORCYCLE AND ALL THE GIRLS WILL BE LIKE WHAAAAT I THINK THE STIFFYS ARE COMING AND YOU’LL BE ALL LIKE YEAH THEY’RE ON THEIR WAY THEY’RE MY FRIENDS AND THEN YOU’LL ALL BE BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND ANYWAY WE THINK YOU SHOULD GO FOR SOMETHING CLASSY LIKE ASTRONAUT WHITE WITH A STRIP OF BLUE DOWN THE SIDE MAYBE YOU COULD GET SOME ZIPOFF PANTS INSTALLED ON YOUR BIKE AND WEAR SUNGLASSES AND GROW YOUR HAIR LONG

NEW SINGLE NEW TOUR NEW VIDEOS NEW LOOK

IT’S ALL GO GO GO EVERYBODY WE’RE SO BUSY WE BARELY HAVE TIME TO KISS ALL THE GIRLS ANYMORE HAHAHA JUST KIDDING LADIES THAT WAS A FUNNY JOKE

NEW SONG

“Kick Another Flip is The Knack meets Josh Homme at Piedmontes, they size each other, skate to the bowl, smoke one and kick out the hams.” – Mikey Cahill, Herald Sun.

NEW TOUR

NEW VIDEOS

https://www.youtube.com/edit?o=U&video_id=jvMvrllk7aQ

THE STIFFYS PHONE ADVICE HOTLINE

WELCOME TO THE FIRST INSTALLMENT OF THE STIFFYS’ PHONE ADVICE HOTLINE THIS WEEK WE ARE FEATURING

JOSEPH FROM WARRNAMBOOL

WEDNESDAY 1 OCTOBER TWO THOUSAND FOURTEEN

HI JOSEPH IT’S THE STIFFYS HERE THANKS FOR YOUR GREAT QUESTION I’VE NEVER SEEN MACARONI WITHOUT CHEESE YOU SEE OTHER PASTAS WITHOUT CHEESE ALL THE TIME BUT NOT MACARONI APART FROM ONE TIME WE RAN OUT CHEESE AND EVERYTHING ELSE AND PUT CHAMPAGNE ON OUR MACARONI AND TASTED NOT THAT GREAT BUT WE HAD THE BEST TIME SO YEAH PUT CHEESE OR CHAMPAGNE ON IT AND ALWAYS CHASE YOUR DREAMS

DOING A DEMO

HI EVERYBODY IT’S ADAM FROM THE STIFFYS HERE WE DID THIS THING CALLED DEMOS ON THE WEEKEND THAT’S BASICALLY WHERE YOU FIND A TAPE DECK AND PRESS RECORD AND PLAY AT THE SAME TIME AND THEN PLAY YOUR SONGS AND SEND THE CASSETTE TO YOUR MANAGER AND GET THEM TO DO SOMETHING WITH IT WE HAD THE BEST TIME WE RECORDED LIKE TWENTY CASSETTES WORTH OF MUSIC ON BOTH SIDES OF THE TAPE WE WENT AND HAD A COUPLE OF DRINKS AND FORGOT TO STOP RECORDING FOR MOST OF IT BUT I STILL THINK WE DID A GREAT JOB PS I BURIED JASON’S BASKETBALL CARDS IN THE BACKYARD HE’LL NEVER FIND THEM THERE

WE LOVE SYDNEY

WE HAD SUCH A GREAT TIME IN SYDNEY THIS WEEKEND WE GOT ATTACKED BY GAY PARIS‘ CAT AND THE SNOWDROPPERS SHOWED US WHERE ALL THE FUNKYBOYS GO AND THEN WE SAW MEN DRESSED AS LADIES AND THEN WE PERFORMED IN A WESTFIELD SHOPPING CENTRE AND GOT LOCKED IN A FIRE ESCAPE AND THEN GOT LOCKED IN A LOADING ZONE AND THEN GOT LOCKED IN AN ELEVATOR AND THEN DRANK MORE DRINKS AND WOKE UP AT THE VIC ON THE PARK AGAIN WE’RE GOING TO STAY HOME FOR A FEW WEEKS TO KEEP WRITING OUR ART ROCK RECORD BEFORE WE HEAD TO BYRON BAY AND BRISBANE AND THEN BACK HOME TO THE OLD BAR THIS REALLY IS THE VIDA LOCA EVERYBODY THAT MEANS THE CRAZY LIFE IN FRENCH WE HAD A COUPLE OF DRINKS AT THE AIRPORT THEY ALMOST DIDN’T LET US ON THE PLANE AGAIN HAHAHA YOU’VE DONE IT AGAIN THE STIFFYS

HOW TO DO SOCIAL MEDIA

WE ARE BASICALLY GREAT AT SOCIAL MEDIA EVERYBODY I GOOGLED IT LAST NIGHT WHEN I WAS LOCKED IN THE FIRE ESCAPE LAST NIGHT AT THE BONDI WESTFIELD SHOPPING CENTRE BEFORE OUR SHOW AT EL TOPO I KEPT GETTING LOCKED IN THERE HAHAHA THAT’S THE THING ABOUT DRINKS ANYWAY HERE’S HOW SOCIAL MEDIA WORKS

FACEBOOK
https://m.facebook.com/profile.php?id=271728269523541

TWITTER
@THE_STIFFYS

INSTAGRAM
@THE_STIFFYS

FEAR OF FLYING

HI GUYS WE’RE HAVING A COUPLE OF DRINKS TO GET READY FOR OUR FLIGHT TO SYDNEY TOMORROW WE GET A BIT NERVOUS BECAUSE THEY OFTEN DON’T LET US ON THE PLANE WE’RE ALWAYS LIKE COME ON GUYS JUST LET US GET ON SERIOUSLY WE’RE FINE IT’S JUST THAT YOUR PLANE MAKES US THIRSTY PLEASE JUST LET US DRIVE IT FOR LIKE ONE MINUTE YOU CAN GIVE US AN EASY BIT THE CO PILOT CAN JUMP IN IF WE MESS IT UP WHAT DOES HE EVEN DO ANYWAY CAN WE GET SOME MORE DRINKS BACK HERE PLEASE

GENERATOR PARTY

WE HAD THE BEST TIME YESTERDAY AT THE GENERATOR PARTY THERE WERE ALL THESE FUNKYBOYS THERE AND EVERYONE WAS DANCING TOGETHER AND THEN WE HANDED THIS GUY OUR BOOGIE BOARD AND HE DEFINITELY KNEW WHAT TO DO HE DEFINITELY DIDN’T JUST GET CONFUSED AND WAVE IT AROUND IN THE AIR FOR THE WHOLE SONG AND THEN SPRAY CHAMPAGNE ALL OVER MY GUITAR AND FACE NO WAY IT ALL WENT EXACTLY TO PLAN HE’S PROBABLY STILL BOOGIE BOARDING NOW

WATCH THE PONCHO TV VIDEO HERE.

SEE YOU THIS WEEKEND SYDNEY DON’T FORGET FORGET TO GIVE GAY PARIS ALL YOUR MONEY EVERYBODY

STUCK ON THE ROOF

HI GUYS I’M STUCK ON THE ROOF AGAIN AND I’VE NEARLY RUN OUT DRINKS HOW CAN I GET SO THIRSTY WHEN I’VE DRUNK SO MANY DRINKS I CLIMBED UP HERE BECAUSE I’M PRETTY SURE OUR NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOUR HAS BEEN STEALING MY BASKETBALL CARDS HE’S ALWAYS AFTER MY BARKLEYS ANYWAY I GOT UP HERE TO SPY ON HIM BUT I DIDN’T BRING ENOUGH DRINKS AND THEN ADAM SAID HE’D HELP ME FIND THE CARDS BUT HE JUST TOOK THE LADDER AWAY AND THEN HE WAS BURYING SOMETHING IN THE NEIGHBOUR’S BACKYARD AGAIN AND FELL ASLEEP OVER THERE AND IT’S BEEN A FEW HOURS NOW AND IT’S REALLY COLD UP HERE CAN SOMEONE PLEASE BRING MORE DRINKS ALSO I WATCHED ALL THREE MATRIX FILMS YESTERDAY WHAT EVEN HAPPENED THERE IT’S LIKE IT BECAME STAR WARS CROSSED WITH ACE VENTURA PET DETECTIVE AM I RIGHT HAHAHAHA GREAT REVIEWS EVERYBODY BUT SERIOUSLY PLEASE BRING MORE DRINKS WHERE ARE MY BARKLEYS

 

 

DON’T TELL JASON

HI GUYS IT’S ME ADAM FROM THE STIFFYS HERE I FOUND ALL THESE BASKETBALL CARDS IN JASONS BEDROOM THE OTHER DAY AND THEY WERE SO SHINY AND THEY HAD MICHAEL JORDAN AND SCOTTY PIPPEN ON THEM AND I TOOK THEM GUYS I STOLE JASON’S BASKETBALL CARDS AND NOW I FEEL TERRIBLE ABOUT IT BECAUSE JASON KEEPS TALKING ABOUT BASKETBALL CARDS AND NOW I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO I MEAN I’M DEFINITELY GOING TO KEEP THEM HOPEFULLY JASON JUST FORGETS ABOUT IT AND WE CAN MOVE ON FROM THIS ENTIRE ORDEAL

PIGSTY IN JULY

WE HAD THE BEST TIME AT PIGSTY IN JULY EVERYONE KEPT GIVING US DRINKS AND A GUY GOT ON STAGE TO BOOGIE BOARD BUT THEN HE DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO SO HE JUST KEPT YELLING BOOGIE BOARDING AND WAVING THE BOARD AROUND THEN AFTER THE AHOW THIS OLD LADY KEPT SAYING SHE WANTED TO FINGER ME WHAT’S FINGERING ANYWAY WE HAD A LOT MORE DRINKS AND A GIRL KEPT SINGING THE CAPTAIN PLANET THEME SONG AT KING OF THE NORTH SO WE ACCIDENTALLY LOCKED OURSELVES IN A CAR WITH NO BLANKETS AND WE NEARLY DIED BUT THANKFULLY THERE WAS SOME DRINKS IN THE CAR SO WE LITERALLY HAD THE BEST TIME SEE YOU THIS WEEKEND AT TAGO MAGO AND ALSO A COOLGUY SECRET GENERATOR PARTY

SOLD OUT FESTIVAL

HI GUYS IT’S JASON FROM THE STIFFYS HERE JUST WRITING TO ASK YOU TO PLEASE DISREGARD MY LAST POST SOMEONE TOLD US WHAT BUBBLING IS AND IT IS NOT A SKATE MOVE WE’D ALSO LIKE TO APOLOGISE TO THE PEOPLE THAT MISSED OUT ON PIGSTY IN JULY TICKETS FOR THIS WEEKEND YOU’VE GOT TO BE QUICK WITH THE STIFFYS BECAUSE ONCE LADIES FIND THE TICKETS JUST GET SNAPPED UP STIFFYS TICKETS ARE BASICALLY THE NEW MICHAEL JORDAN SKYLIGHT

OUR NEXT SHOW IS BACK IN MELBOURNE THAT’S OUR HOMETOWN SO YEAH WE BASICALLY RUN IT OUR SHOW IS AT TAGO MAGO ON SATURDAY 12 JULY OUR STIFFETTES WILL BE THERE IT’S GOING TO BE GREAT

BUBBLING

IS BUBBLING A SKATE MOVE IF SO ADAM AND I ARE BOTH GREAT AT IT WE BUBBLE ALL DAY EVERY DAY WE BASICALLY HAVE BLACK BELTS IN BUBBLING WE CAN DEFINITELY DO THIS JUST LIKE KICKFLIPS AND FACE GRINDS WE CAN DO ALL THAT STUFF

SEE YOU AT PIGSTY THIS WEEKEND IT’S A COOLGUY MUSIC FESTIVAL I HOPE THEY SELL CHRISTMAS TARTS THERE WE’VE NEARLY RUN OUT

CORPORATE ENDORSEMENT

DOES ANYBODY WANT TO SPONSOR OUR BAND AND GIVE US ALL THE MONEY TO PROMOTE THEIR PRODUCT WE DON’T CARE WE WILL LITERALLY SING ABOUT ANYTHING AS LONG AS WE CAN CHOOSE THE GUITAR AND DRUMS UNTIL NOW WE’VE MAINLY FOCUSSED ON COOLGUY AREAS SUCH AS KICKFLIPS AND LADIES YOU KNOW THINGS OF THAT NATURE BUT IF YOU GIVE US ENOUGH MONEY WE WILL EVEN STOP SONGS MIDWAY TO READ OUT YOUR ADVERTISEMENT WE ARE WILLING TO VISIT YOUR WORKPLACE OR SCHOOL WE JUST NEED LOTS OF MONEY AND AN OPEN BAR PLEASE RT WE ARE SO SICK OF COLD CALLING THERE ARE LIKE A MILLION NUMBERS IN THE PHONE BOOK

PS WE ARE PLAYING HEAPS OF SHOWS THIS MONTH YOU SHOULD COME TO ONE THEY’RE ON OUR FACEBOOK PAGE

WHERE AM I

HI EVERYBODY IT’S ADAM FROM THE STIFFYS HERE I JUST WOKE UP IN A RED ROOSTER CARPARK AND DON’T KNOW WHERE I AM OR WHAT DAY IT IS COULD SOMEONE PLEASE COME PICK ME UP AND IF SO CAN WE GO THROUGH A DRIVE THROUGH BOTTLE SHOP ON THE WAY HOME BECAUSE I’M A BIT THIRSTY IF YOU COULD ALSO NOTIFY JASON OF THIS SITUATION THAT WOULD BE GREAT

THE BEST DAY

WE HAD THE BEST DAY AT THE COMMUNITY CUP YESTERDAY WE WANTED THE ROCK DOGS TO WIN AND THEN WE WENT OFF AND HAD A COUPLE OF DRINKS AND THEN JASON DECIDED TO HAVE A PIE EATING CONTEST HE WAS THE ONLY CONTESTANT AND HE WON HE MUST HAVE EATEN LIKE FIFTEN PIES SERIOUSLY LIKE FIFTEEN WHAT A GREAT DAY

THE BIG GAME

WE’RE AT A FOOTBALL GAME AND WE’VE DRUNK ALL THESE DRINKS AND ALL THESE COOLGUYS ARE PLAYING ON A TEAM CALLED THE ROCKDOGS AND ADAM AND I ARE TOTALLY PLAYING AND I JUST KICKED THE WINNING GOAL AND EVERYONE IS HIGH FIVING ME THIS IS THE BEST HERE IS A PHOTO OF THE HALFTIME BAND THAT IS PLAYING RIGHT NOW ANYWAY YEAH I DEFINITELY WON THE GAME PS IT’S JASON FROM THE STIFFYS HERE

FASHION

HI GUYS IT’S JASON FROM THE STIFFYS HERE DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW TO DO THAT THING WHERE YOU TIE THE FRONT OF YOUR SHIRT UP INTO A KNOT SO THAT EVERYONE CAN SEE YOUR STOMACH IS THAT STILL THE COOL THING WHERE DOES EVERYONE LEARN HOW TO DO THAT SURELY IT CAN’T BE VERY GOOD FOR YOUR SHIRT BUT I GUESS FASHION IS FASHION YOU KNOW WHAT I’M SAYING IT’S LIKE ALL THOSE COOLGUYS AT THE SKATE PARK WITH RIPS IN THEIR JEANS DO THEY DO THE RIPS ON PURPOSE OR ARE THEY JUST LIKE OH NO MY JEANS JUST RIPPED THAT’S SUCH BAD NEWS ACTUALLY HANG ON A SECOND OH WOW THAT’S REALLY LUCKY THAT RIP ACTUALLY LOOKS SO SWEET THAT’S ACTUALLY GREAT NEWS AND THEN IT JUST DOESN’T RIP ANY MORE AFTER THAT FOR SOME REASON ANYWAY HIT ME BACK EVERYBODY PLEASE RT

MISSING BASKETBALL CARDS

HI GUYS IT’S JASON FROM THE STIFFYS HERE JUST WONDERING IF ANYONE HAS SEEN MY BASKETBALL CARDS I’VE GOT A SHAQUILLE O’NEAL SKYLIGHT AND A SCOTTY PIPPEN SKYLIGHT AND A CHARLES BARKLEY BUT IT WASN’T A SKYLIGHT IT WAS ONE OF THOSE EMBOSSED ONES I CAN’T REMEMBER WHAT THEY’RE CALLED ALSO THERE WAS LIKE NINETEEN MICHAEL JORDAN SKYLIGHTS AND ALSO SOME POWER RANGER CARDS AND I JUST REMEMBERED I HAD SOME CASH IN THERE I LIKE TO CARRY A LOT OF CASH AROUND IT’S A MUSIC BUSINESS THING ALSO TWO CASES OF PASSIONPOP AND TWO LEATHER JACKETS AND TWO PAIRS OF SUNGLASSES AND TWO PAIRS OF REEBOKS PUMPS SO YEAH IF ANYONE FINDS THAT STUFF PLEASE BRING IT TO OUR HOUSE THANKS GUYS GREAT JOB EVERYBODY REGARDS YOUR BOYS THE STIFFYS

WELCOME TO THE INTERNET

WELCOME TO THE INTERNET EVERYBODY IT’S YOUR BOYS THE STIFFYS HERE WE’VE GOT A WEBSITE NOW IT’S BASICALLY THE SAME AS OUR FACEBOOK PAGE EXCEPT IT’S GOT A DIFFERENT COLOUR SCHEME AND YOU CAN’T LIKE POSTS AND THE COMMENTS ARE LESS PROMINENT AND IT’S NOT AS EASY TO INTERACT WITH EACH OTHER

ANYWAY YEAH IT’S GOING TO BE SO GREAT WE’RE GOING TO START WRITING BLOGS AND SOME MORE THOUGHT PROVOKING PIECES PROBABLY ONE A MONTH I’D SAY WE’RE PRETTY MUCH HARD HITTING NEWS REPORTERS NOW I CAN’T WAIT GREAT JOB EVERYBODY ALWAYS BELIEVE IN YOURSELF PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT PLEASE RT

ALSO DON’T FORGET TO VISIT OUT FACEBOOK PAGE AND REMEMBER THAT THE YOUTH ARE OUR FUTURE

PS IT’S YOUR BOY JASON FROM THE STIFFYS HERE HAS ANYONE SEEN ADAM WE WERE HAVING ALL THESE DRINKS AT THE NORTHCOTE SOCIAL CLUB LAST NIGHT AFTER OUR SHOW WITH THE GOOD CHINA AND HE KEPT TRYING TO EXPLAIN THINGS TO PEOPLE BUT THEY WERE ALL LIKE YEAH I KNOW AND THEN HE WAS ALL LIKE NO LISTEN YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO ME I LOVE YOU MAN I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MAN AND THEY WERE ALL LIKE YOU GUYS SHOULD PROBABLY GO HOME AND THEN WE WERE ALL LIKE WHERE AM I SINCE WHEN DID THEY HAVE A FRUIT AND VEGETABLE SECTION AT THE NORTHCOTE SOCIAL CLUB WHERE ARE ALL OUR FRIENDS WHERE DID ADAM GO